Well, I have been M.I.A. for awhile wallowing in self-pity due to my lack of discipline to eat clean and exercise for the last almost month. Sometimes we all fail. However, that's what helps us learn how to regain success by acknowledging our failures and deciding to cease the non-clean debauchery (in my case... alcohol)... and begin again. Just because I had fell of my clean eating and fitness wagon doesn't mean I cannot pick my ass back up and get back on.
So, as the song goes: Here I go again on my own! And, by "my own" I mean only me, myself, and I can accomplish my healthy lifestyle goals. No one else is going to run for me, lift weights for me, drink oodles of water for me, or eat a plethora of fantastically great clean foods for me. ONLY MYSELF is GOING TO DO THINGS FOR ME. With this in mind, I go forward. I move on. I make note and make myself aware of past mistakes I have created and I MOVE FORWARD. I will not forget how crappy I felt from drinking too much and eating the wrong foods (alcohol is a trigger for making bad decisions all around... food included). I will not forget how making excuses to not get myself active mad me feel insecure about my body, thus causing me to be very angry and extremely moody. I will not forget how my lack of will power made me feel weak as a person and as if I was letting down a community of clean eaters who I adore... Therefore, I am back.
It's so easy to not do what's right (or healthy) and so much easier just to ignore my wants, my dreams, my life... MYSELF. I want to be healthy! I want to be known as a runner! I want to be able to be complimented on my guns (my super toned arms... haha)! I want a nice firm butt! I want to look at my abs in the mirror while alone and be proud of what I am doing! I want to share the good eat recipes I create because I want everyone to try how amazing clean eating can be and that you can do it, too! I want so much! And, the more I want the more I know I have to do my part to get it.
No more excuses, no more pussy footing around the fact I need to put work into myself and my passion in order to see results. No more being weak and slipping into temptation. MORE working out, MORE eating better foods, MORE smiling because I feel better inside and out, MORE positivity about myself, MORE love for myself, MORE time for myself (even if it's only 20 minutes). MORE HEALTHY CHOICES! I rather spend the ache and pain (mind, body, and yes... WALLET) now than be sick later with medical bills, illness, possibly disease all due to an unhealthy lifestyle.
Oh, and one more thing... (gosh sometimes A.D.D. sucks... haha) I need to find ways not to give into temptation... or peer pressure. Even as an adult I experience peer pressure... NOT often, but when I do I don't let myself forget about it, as well. I am extremely hard on myself. I punish myself greatly for defeat and I need to work on that. I need to work on forgiving myself for drinking or eating nachos one night... As long as it's only VERY infrequently. But, not giving into temptation and peer pressure while also forgiving myself if I do decide to have a beer is something I have to work on. I won't be having a beer everyday or eating nachos every week, but when I do have those cheats I want to be able to relish in the moment and NOT feel bad.
I feel as if I have gotten much off my chest today and I feel amazing. I am so glad I have this forum to release some pent up frustrations and admit I am NOWHERE near perfect. I am very imperfect; I am human and yes, I have problems and obstacles like everyone else. I've accepted those feats and demons, I am learning to move on, and I am dedicating myself to happiness and where I find happiness is through family, friends, love for fitness, love for food... CLEAN EATING.
Thank you all for reading. Thank you all for making me feel as if I have not failed...
Also, I'd like to thank a friend of mine for one day posting a very pondering question... She asked if she should accept a similar position at another company or follow her dream. Without any hesitation, I replied that she should follow her dream. She has such a gift and such passion that NOT following her dream would be something she might regret later. Then, I thought... "Wait, I am giving advice I should be following!" There was a time (OK, all my life up until reading this then reflecting upon it) that I am too old to begin a new career; my prime years have come and gone now it's too late... YADDA YADDA YADDA! She inspired me! She, unbeknownst to her, allowed me to be free from what I used to think. She allowed me to realize we are never too old to follow our passions and make ourselves ultimately happy... So, I'd like to thank her! THANK YOU!
Now, go get active or make some deliciously clean! CHEERS!
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